Paxton and Olivia, or The Linebacker and the China Doll.
My little mouth breather has had allergies, so I thought that was the reason for his dumb look. Apparently not. My mom says that I looked like that in many, many of my baby pics. Genetic dumb looks. Great.
Paxton, my cereal bowl, and a new toy and hat from his Ya Ya and Paw Paw.
He's awfully cute, right?! :)

Just decided after watching the other too long video that I'd post one more, shorter one. This is Paxton stealing a pacifier from Sarah's daughter, Olivia. It was funnier the first time he did it, when I wasn't filming it, but whatever.

By the way, I clearly don't think about what I sound like on these videos. You can tell by my heavy breathing on the last one. Please believe me when I assure you that I've had an awful cold for weeks. I'm hoping that's the reason I sound like I'm making a crank call. I'm going to work on my radio voice for further filmings.

Dallas Firsts

Okay, I'm going to do my blog entry while this video uploads. I really hope it works, because if it does, I'm very excited to post a video of Paxton clapping. I haven't actually filmed it yet, but I will tomorrow. He just started getting the real technical aspects of clapping down this weekend. Previously, I mentioned that he would hold one hand against his tummy and hit it with his other hand. That was his way of clapping. Now he actually holds both hands out in front of him and gently touches his curled hands together, over and over. He loves it when I clap. He grins this giant grin and then he starts to copy me. I thought my heart couldn't get any bigger with love. What did I know?!

Paxton has a couple of firsts this weekend. On Friday, he got up on his hands and knees and rocked a bit, a known precursor to crawling. I realize that I don't give him enough floor time, so I am going to make an effort to let him have more floor freedom from now on. We only have one small carpet in the living room, and I have the vacuum out next to it, to clean it every day. It gets furry fast thanks to the pets.

Paxton also waved this weekend. We were at my Grandma Betty's retirement home and as we toured the building, we were stopped every few minutes by admiring seniors. He was cooed over extensively. It was very sweet. When one woman waved goodbye to him, he already had his hand in the air, so he began to wave at her. When he makes these steps, I want to stop everyone and shout that this is his first time doing this or that. But strangers generally don't get the importance of the moment. I remember when he smiled at me for the first time at a La Leche League meeting and I said excitedly, "Oh! He just smiled for the first time!", everyone was very polite but a bit dismissive. Unless it's your own child, it's not really that exciting, I guess.

By the way, all these firsts happened during our weekend trip to Dallas. Chris had tickets to the Black Sabbath concert, so Paxton and I made our own plans to visit family and friends. We're not metal fans, so we let Daddy have his own fun while we ventured off on our own. We spent the night with Sarah Friday night. I'm so glad we did. We always have a great time when we aren't rushed in our time together. I loves me some Sarah. I've had a few best friends in my life and Sarah is one of them. I was reminded this weekend of how much we have in common when I used her shower. The shampoo I brought in with me is the same shampoo she had on the shelf. The razor I brought was the same as the one she has. And then when I went to brush my teeth, I saw that not only do we have the same brand of toothbrush, but the same color!! They are small things, but they are just indicators of the bigger bonds we share. Sarah is one of those friends I've made sure to keep in my life over the years, even when our lives are moving in different directions. Sitting in her living room, with our children (her daughter is exactly one month younger than Paxton, and her son is 2-1/2), I just thanked God that we've been able to stay in each other's lives. I love her.

One last thing about the visit to Dallas...Paxton was a trouper to endure the lack of naps. He was so out of his element. At Sarah's he slept in a room near where Sarah and I stayed up late talking. There wasn't a door on the room, so he could hear us chatting away. He did pretty well, though. He only woke up once. Sarah's kids wake up around 7, which is like the middle of the night for me and Pax. We might wake up at 6 so he can grab a bite, but we're never up for more than a half-hour, then we sleep for another two hours or so. When he heard us all getting up at seven, he was a little confused, but rolled with it. He laid back down around 9 for a short nap before we left to visit my sister-in-law. He had just fallen asleep in the car when we arrived at our destination. Same with the next trip. He got maybe 10 minutes of sleep in the car. And then we went back to my brother-in-law's house, where we always stay when we're in Dallas. I think until Paxton gets a little older, we might have to start staying in a hotel. With four dogs (not including Jelly), and the bedroom just next to the living room, Paxton just couldn't get to sleep. He was miserable, which made me miserable. I was sleepy, too, so I was a little bitchy. When we drove home on Sunday, he slept for three hours straight without so much as stirring once. I'm glad to be home and back to our usual routine. I have a couple of jobs tomorrow and then we're going to a play group after that. Hopefully he has caught up on his sleep by then!

Okay, in the future, I'll post shorter blogs. This one took forever to upload. Hope it's worth it. Check back soon and I'll post more.

I don't have time for hair and makeup these days. But a smile between mommy and son goes far.
A boy and his (still nameless) dog.
My in-laws (Bob and Is) with Paxton and Buster, the two babies in the house.
I love to swing!!!
I have natural musical ability. I'm a tiny little rock star.

Eight Months of Wonderful

I took Paxton back to the San Marcos library today for Toddler Time. It was a happy surprise to see Chris there, waiting for us. He was only able to stay for a few minutes, but he so loves watching Paxton in his element that he cut out of work for long enough to sing "Ring Around the Rosie" with us, at least. While we were dancing around in our circle, I made eye contact with the woman Isabel cut off last week and gave her a smile and a wave. She returned the sentiment, to my great relief. We sat on one end of the room for the stories and then I made my way over to the women during playtime to apologize for last Friday. They were very sweet. After all these weeks, I finally learned their names--Georgia and Chelsea. And their children are Hank and Austin, respectively. I'm making note of this for my own memory's sake. It was nice talking to them and I can't help having a hope that we'll become good enough friends that I can invite them to Paxton's first birthday party in December. By the way, he turned 8-months-old today! The time is flying by.

I've seen several baby girls, younger than Paxton, crawling at Toddler Time. He is close, but not quite there yet. He pushes himself up on straight arms when he is on his stomach. And he sometimes gets up on his toes, as well. But he's not yet rocking. When he gets excited about moving, he loses all form. I'm curious about how babies pull themselves into a sitting position. I'm going to have to watch them at the library and see how they do it. I can't imagine it in my head.

We hung Paxton's swing on the back deck last weekend. We also installed a ceiling fan. It's so pleasant sitting back there now, and with all the rain we've had lately, it's even nicer. This evening, Paxton and I sat back there, him swinging, me trying to read the paper, but being too absorbed by my cute baby to get much reading done. I've finally started to take more pictures of my little guy again, and I've gotten really out-of-control with the videos. I'll try to post some here later tonight.

Pax is talking a lot lately. Oh, but he has the cutest voice. He grasps certain sounds and repeats them for days until he is ready to try a new one. Right now, he is saying "Dit-dit-dit, dah-dah-dah". He has stopped making the "mmm" sound that he was practicing weeks ago. He still screams when he's happy, and it's very cute most of the time. He also loudly clears his throat when he feels that someone should be paying attention to him but isn't. I think the people at Toddler Time are going to start avoiding us, thinking he has bronchitis, because they don't know he's making these hacking cough sounds on purpose. It makes me giggle every time. The boy feels very certain that the attention should all be sharply focused on him.

He is still waking up several times a night (after sleeping through the night for a long time), but I just ignore it and he goes back to sleep. I don't want him to get too dependent on me waking up to feed him or comfort him many times a night. Sometimes it's hard to ignore him, because really, I miss him and want to cuddle with him. But I'd also like to sleep through the night. The bags under my eyes are finally starting to dissipate after eight long months of sleep deprivation, thank God.

I feel I should mention that Pax is clearly a genius. He proves he exceptional abilities daily! We have this drum for him that, when you pat it, says the letters of the alphabet aloud while writing them on the head of the drum. It took him a few days after he got the toy to learn how to use it, but Chris gave him some music lessons and he quickly caught on. Now he pats the drum to hear the letters, then flips it over to examine the underside. He never drums on the underside even though it's a near mirror image of the top. Oh, no. He just checks it out and then flips it back over to continue his drumming. I, of course, videotaped it.

Even though I don't want to criticize other people's parenting, I'm perplexed about why Suri Cruise is still drinking from a bottle. Paxton has been using a sippy cup since he was about five-months-old. I only give him water in it, thus far. He still gets his milk straight from the tap, so to speak. Maybe I shouldn't judge little Suri, because Paxton is adamant about getting his milk when he wants it. It's become more and more the norm for him to start at my chest, tug at my shirt and make demanding grunts. On the way to the airport, I was hunched over him in the backseat, aiming my breast at his mouth while he sat in his carseat. Thank goodness I have big bazooms and no discernible dignity.

Okay, off to upload some pics. I know that's why Sarika checks in. I'm not sure anyone else visits this site these days. I should really work on my marketing schemes.

Bad Mom

I get now what mothers mean about how you have to get used to feeling guilt when you're a parent. I have felt it since the day Paxton was born. I often feel like I'm not interacting with him enough during his waking hours. I nurse him, cuddle him, hold him, read to him, play with him, all of that--but then I pop him into his bouncer so I can clean and I feel like I'm a total heel. I'll catch his eye from the loft when I'm rushing into his room to hang up clothes and he's downstairs bouncing and he looks at me with concern and then bursts into a giant, bright-eyed smile. Oh, I just love that baby. When he goes to sleep, I'm thrilled for a short time at the freedom I have, and then I miss him enough to want to go wake him up to hold him. It's a strange phenomenon.

This week, I got to experience a new level of guilt. I was at story time at the local library, and I had him sitting on my lap while I was talking to another parent. He is still not crawling, but he desperately wants to stand. If I have him sitting in my lap, he thrusts himself upwards to try to stand, particularly if he wants to reach something or someone who is nearby. While I was talking to the mom, he bounced into a standing position and promptly toppled forward and bonked his little forehead on the carpet before us. He made the dreaded face accompanied by quiet rage and then exploded into shrieks of anger and pain. The woman I was talking to moved away from us, not subtly. I scooped him up and had him quieted within a few minutes, but everyone in the group was looking at us with what I could only assume was judgment. I sort of wanted to melt into the ground, but I rallied. I felt bad that I let Paxton get hurt, but I felt extra bad that every mother in the library saw my failure. Ack.

Chris' parents are in town this weekend. I took them with us to story time at the library this morning. That was...interesting. My father-in-law always films everything, so he had his camera in hand, getting shots for the next dvd to be sent to the family. And my mother-in-law thrives on being the center-of-attention (she'll tell you so herself), so she edged out some of the other parents to push Paxton to the box of blocks during playtime. I am going to be making some apologies when I return next week. It was fun, though, for the family to see what Paxton and I do for fun. He really likes to listen to the woman read the stories and watch her do ASL. He seems to like the songs and watching the other children. He's the youngest kid there, but hopefully as he gets a little older, he'll get to interact more with the kids. I think the next oldest are 13 and 14 months. He'll be on their level soon enough. I can't believe he turns eight-months-old next week!

Have I mentioned yet that Paxton has attempted clapping? He doesn't quite get the hang of it, but he makes a fist with one hand and holds it against his stomach while he slaps it with his other hand. It's so cute. Applause used to terrify him, but now he's appreciating the appeal. Maybe someday he won't be terrified of ice machines when I get fountain drinks. Hopefully before he begins high school he'll grow accustomed. That might be a weird quirk.

I'm off to peek in on him and read yet another Janet Evanovich book. I'm addicted. I love the Stephanie Plum series. I'm so sad that I'm going through them so quickly. Everything moves too fast. Slow down, time! Slow down!

Here Paxton and I are at the Terri Hendrix concert in San Marcos.
And here Terri Hendrix, Lloyd Maines and the rest rock out.
The kitten (who may or may not be our new kitten) and Franklin.

Paxton and the puppy. A boy and his dog.

Paxton in Concert

This week, I took Paxton to the local library's Toddler Time. I didn't realize they offered one for babies from 0-2 here in town, so we've only been going to the library in San Marcos previously. I'm glad to find we have another option. We'll probably continue going to both, just because it's fun to do things with him that are geared to him. No matter what distractions are going on, he focuses intently on the person reading the stories. The kid likes books. He has from Day One. I'm glad. I hope he is able to escape into books when he gets older. It made my life so much more enjoyable. It still does, in fact.

There was a woman sitting next to us with her 17-month-old son. He was a terror. He would run over to the woman who was reading to the children and dig through her things, pulling out whatever toy she was soon to use in her presentation. When she sang some song about five little pigs rolling in the mud, placing felt pigs on the board, the boy would run up and remove the pigs. When the woman got out the communal toys for the children to play with, the little boy grabbed a block and chucked it at another woman's head. He resisted his mom when she tried to lead him back to where she was seated. He ran around the library, exploring. He was actually really cute and I wasn't bothered by him. I also didn't feel like the mom was at fault. But I did break out in a cold sweat at what I will someday face when my little guy becomes mobile. I feel the same sort of nervousness I felt when I read about nursing when I was pregnant. Now I love nursing, so hopefully when Pax starts crawling around, I'll be thrilled and not terrified.

Paxton blew in a kazoo for the first time the other day. Chris has been teaching him. Finally, he grabbed the kazoo from Chris' mouth, put the correct end in his own mouth and made a little noise that warbled in the traditional kazoo way. It was amazing. He's seven-and-a-half months old and he's already playing a musical instrument. Move over, Bach. Step aside, Beethoven. Get outta his way, Kenny G. He's taking over.

I'm sort of embarrassed to take him out right now because his little body is covered with bites. I think they are flea bites. The cats sneak into his room and lay in his crib sometimes. And they all love to curl up in his play gym. Clearly they need to be treated with their flea drops again. Paxton has bites all over his arms and face. It's awful. When I get a flea bite, it's tiny and difficult to see. With Paxton, it's a raised welt with a big pink circle surrounding it. I'm afraid that the child welfare organization is going to raid my house and take him away from me, to a house where he will not suffer the abuse of biting pests.

Speaking of being afraid that Pax is going to be taken away from me, I had a dream last week that nearly made me cry. In it, I gave birth to Paxton, but I was a surrogate hired by another couple. He was made from their egg and sperm and I was just the carrier. I guess after he was born, I kept him and raised him as my own, perhaps in hiding from these people. And then they found me. They tried to take him away from me. When I woke up, I had to reassure myself that he was really mine. It was heartbreaking. I am so wildly attached to that beautiful boy. The thought of him ever not being in my life makes me want to sink into the ground.

I have a sinus infection, so I'm a little scattered tonight, but I've managed to stay awake for just long enough to watch Big Brother before I succumb to the cold medicine. Night, night.